Intimacy Issues - Journey Coaching & Counseling

Are you tired of your husband or boyfriend always pushing for sex but never trying to meet your need for intimacy? Do you wish he would just "get it" so you don't have to keep explaining what you mean by intimacy? Would you like to have a more meaningful and enjoyable sex life that doesn't feel like an obligation?

I would like to help. When I first married my husband 20 years ago, a man I had dated and known for 11 years prior to marriage, I thought that we would be on the same page about most things. After all, we had known each other for so long, first as friends, then as lovers. Little did I know at the time, we had VERY different ideas about sex and intimacy. Over the years, I have corrected my sinful ways and have learned that men are truly created differently when it comes to sex and intimacy and their ideas, beliefs, attitudes, and feelings about both.

I learned, get this, that women have a VERY different view of sex and intimacy that is NOT shared by their male counterparts. As a therapist, I work with couples who often come in with this as their major agenda item. The differences in perspective are always confirmed, couple to couple. What I have found is that when I work individually with each member of the couple regarding this issue, change in perspective, or rather being able to view the other's perspective works much more quickly when only one member of the couple is in the room.

We each bring with us into relationship with our significant other, not only our gender specific ideas about sex and intimacy, but also our historical ideas taken from what we learned from our parents, family, culture, church, etc., about the topics of sex and intimacy. I explore with my female clients how what we learned about being feminine, as it relates to sexuality and intimacy, might get in the way of really enjoying both.

We are able to talk about these ideas and explore different ways of viewing them in the privacy of individual sessions, where we are able to more easily shed light on some things that may be more difficult to discuss in the presence of their male partners. I find that women, more often then men, have been taught ideas about sex and intimacy that can leave them feeling uncomfortable discussing these topics freely in the presence of the significant men in their lives.

I find that sometimes women also have a difficult time expressing their intimacy needs to the significant men in their lives, believing that these men should "just know" what those needs are. Especially when their guy was so VERY romantic during the courtship phase of the relationship.

If you want to explore this further so you can have the relationship you have always wanted with your spouse or  partner, please contact me either via email at journeyccs@sbcglobal.net, or via phone at (714) 296-8052.