For those who want information about credentials...

Dr. Renee Miller is the founder of Journey Coaching and Counseling Services.  She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, with a Doctorate in Psychology.  Her education includes a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Development and a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology. She has training in Jungian psychology, dream analysis, sand tray therapy, cinema therapy, domestic violence, high conflict divorce and custody issues, and anger management.  She is an active member of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, including active membership in her local chapter in Orange County.  

Were you raised by a difficult mother, whose behavior was often crazy-making, confusing, or chaotic?

Are you having a difficult time in other relationships because of this?

Do you feel like you don't have the right to be angry or to express your anger when your personal boundaries are violated?

Growing up with a difficult mother can leave you feeling like nothing you do is ever right or enough. It can also leave you feeling like you don't have the right to express your feelings, needs, or desires.

You may find yourself in relationships that feel oddly familiar, once again, leaving you feeling frustrated, resentful, and lonely.

Sometimes, men and women who grew up with these types of mothers lack self-confidence and may have a difficult time trusting others.  They don’t always know how to trust their own inner voice and, consequently, may have a hard time making decisions about their lives, about what would be healthy for them, about choosing healthy people. 

I've been there and know your pain.

When I first began working with men and women in my practice, I noticed that several of my clients shared stories that sounded very similar to my own childhood story.

While I had worked through many of my issues in my own therapy process regarding my mother, who can be crazy-making, guilt-inducing, and infuriatingly difficult at times, I hadn’t realized how prevalent this problem was.  I found that I really enjoyed working with clients who were  on a journey to wholeness and healing from this similar type of past. 

I’ve also found that when women who had difficult mothers become mothers themselves, they tend to struggle with anxiety about their own parenting skills, wanting desperately to be good mothers to their own children.  They often report feeling anxious about their lack of an appropriate model.  They sometimes report extreme fears about hurting their children because of their inability to consistently and effectively manage their anger and rage reactions when under stress. 

When men who had difficult mothers become fathers, they are often challenged with how to protect their children when they have unknowingly selected a partner who has turned out to be “just like mom” and who may be showing signs of abuse toward their children.  These fathers tend to report feelings of helplessness and hopelessness when thinking about ending a volatile relationship for fear of what will happen to their children in the process.  These men tend to report that once they leave, the mother of their children begins to alienate the children from them. 

If you are still struggling from the effects of being raised by a difficult mother, I would love to help. I teach people how to assertively set and communicate healthier relationship boundaries so that they can stop feeling guilty and resentful.

We will explore how guilt was used by your mother to manipulate and control you as a child. We will explore how guilt maintains unhealthy boundaries in your current day relationships, and how that ultimately leads to resentment and loneliness. You will learn how to recognize and change ineffective ways of expressing yourself, with your mother and with others who matter most in  your life.

If any of this sounds like something you would like to explore more, please contact me either via email at journeyccs@sbcglobal.net or via phone or text at  (714) 296-8052.